How to Get Better SleepBetter Sleep With A Sober Cannibal Than A Drunken Christian : Q&A: if a couple are having problems, is this bad for the child? there is a long explanation, sorry but please help?
Better Sleep With A Sober Cannibal Than A Drunken Christian
Question by Jemma: if a couple are having problems, is this bad for the child? there is a long explanation, sorry but please help?
This is sort of complicated, so please, read the situation if you are going to leave a comment.
My mother gave birth to me outside of marriage. she left my dad because i guess he had a violent temper. whatever, though. this is not what it is about, but necessary to know. So, she was a single mother up until I was six, when she started dating this man named Bob. I was scared stiff of him then, because he would sometimes threaten me with beatings, but he never acted on them.
They got married a year later, when I was seven. the first year was good, and everything was peachy. Bob didn’t threaten me, nor did he seem to have a problem with me. However, once my sister was born, he started to turn on me. there are many circumstances. basically he was a giant @sshole, mentally abusing me almost every day.
Well, I moved out now, and my mom and my stepdad have been married for fifteen years now. They still hate each other.
But recently, they moved into this new house, and my sister still lives with them. Now they don’t even talk to each other, and even basically live on separate floors of the house. I have tried to get my mother to go to therapy, because Bob does all the same things that he would do to me to my mother now. And on top of all that, my mother then makes me feel guilty for all her problems, says she’s jealous of my relationship with my husband, because i actually chose a good man, and then sends these weird texts to me, like “oh i’m just going to have a pity party” or “it is better to sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken christian” (it’s a quote from moby dick, which she is reading right now, but but why send me that quote?!).
My sister is stuck between them too. My mother and Bob talk about each other behind their backs to my sister. They expect her to be their communication line now, and she’s put under a lot of pressure. She’s now falling into a very sad crowd, because she is very beautiful, and she’s with all these other girls that are either anorexic or have abusive boyfriends. I’m worried about her, and her mental state of mind.
On top of that, I feel as if I’m the wedge that drove my mom and bob apart since it was often “my fault” that they got into fights. My mom didn’t like the way bob had been treating me when i was younger, so they often had fights about what chores I was supposed to be doing. things just escalated from there.
The thing that I am wondering is, is it healthier for these two to get a divorce? I’ve tried to get them to go to couple’s therapy, but that has yet to happen. I also want to put distance between my mother and me, because i feel as if my mother is trying to use me as a support system for all her complaining. I’m usually fine with that, as i try to help others, however, I find it hard to continue being a support for someone if they don’t want to help themselves and take the advice that I have given them, ie, I gave my mother tons of therapists’ phone numbers, even couples counselors and everything i can do.
The reason why she stays with him is because she ‘wants to remain loyal to him.” this seems absurd to me, as i can’t possibly understand it, except for the fact that they don’t want to be alone. I want to write a letter to my mother saying that I cannot be apart of this family unless she takes a step to either go to couples counseling or gets a divorce.
So, my two questions are:
Should I write a letter to my mother, a kind one though, that tells her i love her, but that I cannot continue being around her as her attitude is adversely affecting mine. I have not been doing well in school right now, I’m stressed and having a lot of problems. I’m also worried about my sister.
Second, is it more detrimental for a child to remain in such a terrible family as that, or is it sometimes better for the couple to divorce and share the child? I mean, I think i read somewhere that there is a new study saying that sometimes, children do better if a couple gets a divorce if the couple is having such a terrible time getting along, than remaining in those situations. I think that this is also why my parents will not get a divorce, because they think that they are doing more good for my sister by staying together. Which doesn’t seem to be the case.
Best answer:
Answer by TheLittleGymnast
This is indeed a very sad situation, yet you have to take action.
If you want to protect your sister, then maybe you can be here guardian or if you’re in school then make the parents take custody and in circumstances they cannot put her under pressure about each other.
And you should definitly write a letter to your mother, and keep your word! If she loves you, she will eventually realize what is right and divorce Bob. Explain to her that you love her and only want the best for her and that the choice she is making isn’t right.
Good luck! 
Give your answer to this question below!
Better Sleep With A Sober Cannibal Than A Drunken Christian
Moby-Dick (II)
Featuring discussions of Melville’s Moby-Dick; intertextuality; Owen Chase’s narrative of the sinking of the whaleship Essex; cenotaphs; Biblical culture; and typology.
Video Rating: 3 / 5
better sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken christian
"Call me Ishmael" — Moby-Dick Marathon begins
On Twitter — the event's hashtag is #mdm16 — marathon attendees on Saturday posted comments — "Nerding out at the Moby Dick Marathon" — as well as random passages from the novel, including: "Better sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken …
Read more on SouthCoastToday.com